"You Should Have Known"
The lyrics to "You should have known" are an odd mix of my need to explore and create and see new things filtered through the lense of that sad nostalgia that creeps in sometimes when you start thinking about how things might have been. Sometimes that feels like an end to things, despite the fact that you're still out in the world chasing new things.
I was in the midst of an adventure of a kind, but my feelings were mixed, because it wasn't the adventure that I had set out to have when I moved to New York. I moved to NYC to pursue sound design and music. I made some inroads there, but also accidentally started a career in the corporate world. That corporate world wasn't as colorful or creative as working in audio, but it was also what afforded me to live and explore parts of the world that I might never have seen or experienced. I was having a wonderful time, but it wasn't the wonderful time that I thought I was looking for when I left California. Obviously, I was also writing and recording at the time, and still am, so it can't have been all that bad, now could it?
On top of that nostalgia, I was also feeling a little bit far from the friends that I couldn't be with in California and New York while I was living in London. Over the course of a couple of years, you really do feel relationships change, and move apart no matter how much you like people, and they like you. If you're not part of each other's daily routine, you have fewer relevant, common touch points. That makes it harder to connect.
For all but a few very focused people, and even for them, I think it is a fairly universal experience that the planned course of your life takes a lot of detours to places you didn't expect to go. Those changes are simultaneously sad and wonderful.